are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
