I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
