he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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