Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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