you would pick up someone in the library
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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