How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
