Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
