so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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