Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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