kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
love makes seman taste better
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
