Welp...herpes.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
