would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
