so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
tell me about the eggs
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
