i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Come on in and take your pants off
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