Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm going to jail i love you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
