If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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