He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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