no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
