Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
