i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
