his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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