so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
