you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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