I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He felt like a one man threesome
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
