READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
