i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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