ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
