the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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