carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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