How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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