I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Are we still banned from the library?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
