Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
