everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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