Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just pee around me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
3 2 1 whiskey
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
