Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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