I accidentally burped into my bong.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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