this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
