Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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