He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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