She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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