Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
