Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
