you turned your livingroom into a bong?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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