it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My dick has a subreddit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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