Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
