I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
