he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
