Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
