we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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