Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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