The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize