i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
