Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize