1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
