have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize