the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
