So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
