I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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