xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
