I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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