We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
